People really are so creative!
Funny!
- Thread starter docw1
- Start date
......soooooo, that would be a definite yes!
.....fun around the campfire.....
I shared this with my daughter who owns a cat. In her opinion, the cat would have no debate. All boxes are good in a cat's mind.
The cat:
That's a 22 lb Norwegian Forest cat ...apparently without a care in the world.
Chris
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OP
OP
docw1
Bill Rankin
A young guy from Texas moves to California and goes to a big department store looking for a job.
The manager says, "Do you have any sales experience?"
The kid says, "Yeah, I was a salesman back home in Texas."
Well, the boss liked the kid, so he gave him the job. "You start tomorrow.I'll come down after we close and see how you did."
His first day on the job was rough but he got through it. After the store was locked up, the boss came down.
"How many sales did you make today?"
The kid says, "One."
The boss says, "Just one? Our sales people average 20 or 30 sales a day.How much was the sale for?"
Kid says, "$101,237.64."
Boss says, "$101,237.64? What did you sell him?"
Kid says, "First I sold him a small fish hook. Then I sold him a medium fish hook. Then I sold him a larger fish hook. Then I sold him a new fishing rod. Then I asked him where he was going fishing, and he said down at the coast, so I told him he was gonna need a boat, so we went down to the boat department, and I sold him that twin engine Chris Craft. Then he said he didn't think his Honda Civic would pull it, so I took him down to the automotive department and sold him that 4X4 Blazer."
The boss said, "A guy came in here to buy a fish hook and you sold him a boat and truck?"
Kid says, "No, he came in here to buy a box of tampons for his wife, and I said, 'Well, since your weekend's shot, you might as well go fishing.'"
The manager says, "Do you have any sales experience?"
The kid says, "Yeah, I was a salesman back home in Texas."
Well, the boss liked the kid, so he gave him the job. "You start tomorrow.I'll come down after we close and see how you did."
His first day on the job was rough but he got through it. After the store was locked up, the boss came down.
"How many sales did you make today?"
The kid says, "One."
The boss says, "Just one? Our sales people average 20 or 30 sales a day.How much was the sale for?"
Kid says, "$101,237.64."
Boss says, "$101,237.64? What did you sell him?"
Kid says, "First I sold him a small fish hook. Then I sold him a medium fish hook. Then I sold him a larger fish hook. Then I sold him a new fishing rod. Then I asked him where he was going fishing, and he said down at the coast, so I told him he was gonna need a boat, so we went down to the boat department, and I sold him that twin engine Chris Craft. Then he said he didn't think his Honda Civic would pull it, so I took him down to the automotive department and sold him that 4X4 Blazer."
The boss said, "A guy came in here to buy a fish hook and you sold him a boat and truck?"
Kid says, "No, he came in here to buy a box of tampons for his wife, and I said, 'Well, since your weekend's shot, you might as well go fishing.'"
OP
OP
docw1
Bill Rankin
A young professor finds himself sitting next to an old farmer on a train. Bored, the professor decides to propose a game to pass the time.
“I’ll ask you a question,” the professor says. “If you can’t answer, you give me $5. Then, you ask me a question. If I can’t answer, I’ll give you $500. What do you say?”
The farmer nods in agreement.
The professor starts, “What is the distance between the Earth and the Moon?”
The farmer silently pulls out $5 and hands it to the professor.
Now it’s the farmer’s turn. He asks, “What animal has three legs when climbing a mountain and four legs when coming down?”
The professor is stumped. He racks his brain, searches for logical explanations, and even consults his notebook, but he can’t find an answer. Frustrated, he hands over $500 to the farmer.
The farmer takes the money with a smile and leans back to take a nap.
Curious and unwilling to let it go, the professor shakes the farmer awake and asks, “Alright, what animal is it?”
The farmer silently pulls out $5, hands it to the professor, and goes back to sleep.
“I’ll ask you a question,” the professor says. “If you can’t answer, you give me $5. Then, you ask me a question. If I can’t answer, I’ll give you $500. What do you say?”
The farmer nods in agreement.
The professor starts, “What is the distance between the Earth and the Moon?”
The farmer silently pulls out $5 and hands it to the professor.
Now it’s the farmer’s turn. He asks, “What animal has three legs when climbing a mountain and four legs when coming down?”
The professor is stumped. He racks his brain, searches for logical explanations, and even consults his notebook, but he can’t find an answer. Frustrated, he hands over $500 to the farmer.
The farmer takes the money with a smile and leans back to take a nap.
Curious and unwilling to let it go, the professor shakes the farmer awake and asks, “Alright, what animal is it?”
The farmer silently pulls out $5, hands it to the professor, and goes back to sleep.
ST1100Y
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OP
OP
docw1
Bill Rankin
I mowed the lawn today, and after doing so I sat down and had a cold beer.
The day was really quite beautiful, and the drink facilitated some deep thinking.
My wife walked by and asked me what I was doing, and I said, "Nothing."
The reason I said "nothing" instead of saying "just thinking" is because she then
would have asked, "About what?"
At that point I would have had to explain that men are deep thinkers about various
topics, which would lead to other questions.
Finally, I pondered an age-old question: Is giving birth more painful than getting kicked in the nuts?
Women always maintain that giving birth is way more painful than a guy getting kicked
in the nuts, but how could they know?
Well, after another beer and some more heavy deductive thinking, I have come up with
an answer to that question.
Getting kicked in the nuts is more painful than having a baby and even though I obviously
couldn't really know, here is the reason for my conclusion:
A year or so after giving birth, a woman will often say, "It might be nice to have another child."
But you never hear a guy say, "You know, I think I would like another kick in the nuts."
I rest my case. Time for another beer. Then maybe a nap.
The day was really quite beautiful, and the drink facilitated some deep thinking.
My wife walked by and asked me what I was doing, and I said, "Nothing."
The reason I said "nothing" instead of saying "just thinking" is because she then
would have asked, "About what?"
At that point I would have had to explain that men are deep thinkers about various
topics, which would lead to other questions.
Finally, I pondered an age-old question: Is giving birth more painful than getting kicked in the nuts?
Women always maintain that giving birth is way more painful than a guy getting kicked
in the nuts, but how could they know?
Well, after another beer and some more heavy deductive thinking, I have come up with
an answer to that question.
Getting kicked in the nuts is more painful than having a baby and even though I obviously
couldn't really know, here is the reason for my conclusion:
A year or so after giving birth, a woman will often say, "It might be nice to have another child."
But you never hear a guy say, "You know, I think I would like another kick in the nuts."
I rest my case. Time for another beer. Then maybe a nap.
OP
OP
docw1
Bill Rankin
Three Army officers, a Lieutenant, a Major, and a General, stood around having a group discussion. The General is speaking:
“Now, let me get this straight, Lieutenant…you say that sex is sixty percent work and forty percent fun. The Major claims that it is 20 percent work and eighty percent fun. I say it is split fifty-fifty. Here’s how we’ll settle it. I’m going ask this private walking by.”
He stops the private, who salutes. The three officers return the salute, and then the General says to the Private, “At ease, Private. We want you to help us settle an argument. What percent is fun in sex, and what percent is work?”
The Private thought for a second and replied, “Sir, the way I see it, sex is one hundred percent fun and no work at all.”
“How do you figure that, Private?” The General asked.
“Well, Sir, if there were ANY work in it, you guys would have me doing it for you.”
“Now, let me get this straight, Lieutenant…you say that sex is sixty percent work and forty percent fun. The Major claims that it is 20 percent work and eighty percent fun. I say it is split fifty-fifty. Here’s how we’ll settle it. I’m going ask this private walking by.”
He stops the private, who salutes. The three officers return the salute, and then the General says to the Private, “At ease, Private. We want you to help us settle an argument. What percent is fun in sex, and what percent is work?”
The Private thought for a second and replied, “Sir, the way I see it, sex is one hundred percent fun and no work at all.”
“How do you figure that, Private?” The General asked.
“Well, Sir, if there were ANY work in it, you guys would have me doing it for you.”
