Funny!
- Thread starter docw1
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OP
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docw1
Bill Rankin
Tom Reynolds boarded his flight to Chicago and made his way to the aisle seat he had reserved. To his surprise, a blonde woman was already sitting there.
“Excuse me,” Tom said, trying to stay polite. “That’s my seat. I specifically booked it.”
The woman looked up and said confidently, “I’m blonde, I’m smart, and I’m sitting in this aisle seat until the plane lands in Chicago.”
Tom frowned and checked her ticket. Sure enough, it clearly showed she was assigned the middle seat.
“Your ticket says you’re in the middle,” he pointed out. “I booked this aisle seat because I’m six-foot-five, and I need the legroom. You’re, what, five-foot-one? You’ll be just fine in the middle seat.”
The blonde, completely unfazed, repeated, “I’m blonde, I’m smart, and I’m sitting in this aisle seat until the plane lands in Chicago.”
The woman in the window seat chimed in, “You should probably move. My ex was only six-foot-one, and he always needed the aisle seat to avoid feeling cramped.”
Still, the blonde replied, “I’m blonde, I’m smart, and I’m sitting in this aisle seat until the plane lands in Chicago.”
Frustrated, Tom finally called over a flight attendant. After listening to the situation, the attendant nodded, leaned down, and whispered something in the blonde’s ear.
Suddenly, the blonde’s expression changed. Without a word, she grabbed her things and moved to the middle seat.
Relieved, Tom settled into his aisle seat.
After landing in Chicago, curiosity got the better of him. He approached the flight attendant and asked, “What did you say to her?”
The attendant grinned. “I told her the aisle seat wasn’t going to Chicago.”
“Excuse me,” Tom said, trying to stay polite. “That’s my seat. I specifically booked it.”
The woman looked up and said confidently, “I’m blonde, I’m smart, and I’m sitting in this aisle seat until the plane lands in Chicago.”
Tom frowned and checked her ticket. Sure enough, it clearly showed she was assigned the middle seat.
“Your ticket says you’re in the middle,” he pointed out. “I booked this aisle seat because I’m six-foot-five, and I need the legroom. You’re, what, five-foot-one? You’ll be just fine in the middle seat.”
The blonde, completely unfazed, repeated, “I’m blonde, I’m smart, and I’m sitting in this aisle seat until the plane lands in Chicago.”
The woman in the window seat chimed in, “You should probably move. My ex was only six-foot-one, and he always needed the aisle seat to avoid feeling cramped.”
Still, the blonde replied, “I’m blonde, I’m smart, and I’m sitting in this aisle seat until the plane lands in Chicago.”
Frustrated, Tom finally called over a flight attendant. After listening to the situation, the attendant nodded, leaned down, and whispered something in the blonde’s ear.
Suddenly, the blonde’s expression changed. Without a word, she grabbed her things and moved to the middle seat.
Relieved, Tom settled into his aisle seat.
After landing in Chicago, curiosity got the better of him. He approached the flight attendant and asked, “What did you say to her?”
The attendant grinned. “I told her the aisle seat wasn’t going to Chicago.”
Andrew Shadow
Site Supporter
Sometimes people show up at my place unannounced but, even though I don't have a dog, I don't think that anybody has ever showed up at my place unannonced.
STripper
Brian
I named my Pit Bull terrier "Jesus." The large sign above his dog house in the front yard reads "Jesus watches over you." I don't get many uninvited visitors.
"What kind of idiot would name a parrot 'Moses'?"
"The same kind of idiot that would name a Rottweiler 'Jesus'."
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"Moses the Parrot"
A robber was robbing a house and he got this big bag full of loot when all of the sudden he hears this voice "Jesus is watching you" so he thinks nothing of it and keeps going and he hears it again "Jesus is watching you" so he asks "who is saying that?" He replies "Moses the parrot in the corner" the robber then asks "What nut would name his parrot Moses?" The parrot replies "The same Nut that would name his Rottweiler Jesus." And the robber runs out real fast!
OP
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docw1
Bill Rankin
OP
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docw1
Bill Rankin
OP
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docw1
Bill Rankin
A man was walking down the street when a scruffy-looking homeless guy asked him for a couple of bucks for dinner.
The man pulled out his wallet and said, **“If I give you this, will you spend it on beer instead of food?”**
**“No, I gave up drinking years ago,”** the homeless man replied.
**“What about gambling?”** the man asked.
**“Nope, never gamble. Every penny counts just to survive.”**
**“Okay… will you spend it on golf instead?”**
The homeless man laughed, **“Are you CRAZY? I haven’t played golf in 20 years!”**
**“Alright, last question—will you blow it on a woman instead of food?”**
The homeless man scoffed, **“What could I even get for ten lousy bucks?!”**
The man smiled and said, **“Well, I’m not giving you the money. Instead, I’m taking you home for a huge homemade dinner from my wife.”**
The homeless man was shocked. **“Won’t she be mad? I mean, I’m dirty, I probably stink…”
The man grinned, **“Nah, she needs to see what happens to a man when he gives up beer, gambling, golf, and women.”**
The man pulled out his wallet and said, **“If I give you this, will you spend it on beer instead of food?”**
**“No, I gave up drinking years ago,”** the homeless man replied.
**“What about gambling?”** the man asked.
**“Nope, never gamble. Every penny counts just to survive.”**
**“Okay… will you spend it on golf instead?”**
The homeless man laughed, **“Are you CRAZY? I haven’t played golf in 20 years!”**
**“Alright, last question—will you blow it on a woman instead of food?”**
The homeless man scoffed, **“What could I even get for ten lousy bucks?!”**
The man smiled and said, **“Well, I’m not giving you the money. Instead, I’m taking you home for a huge homemade dinner from my wife.”**
The homeless man was shocked. **“Won’t she be mad? I mean, I’m dirty, I probably stink…”
The man grinned, **“Nah, she needs to see what happens to a man when he gives up beer, gambling, golf, and women.”**
ST1100Y
Site Supporter
... indeed... (never activated that...)
Actually, the reader will read and remember any pattern.... indeed... (never activated that...)
Just like a parrot can mimic any sound, not just voices.