Funny!

Three men are applying for a position as a police detective. They are all being interviewed on the same day.

The chief calls in the first applicant and says “Before we hire you, you have to pass a little test. I’m going to show you a photograph of a suspect; you tell me something about them based on their photo.”

So the chief hands the first applicant a photo. The applicant studies it for a moment, then says “Easy, the suspect only has one eye!”

The chief, puzzled, looks at the photo, then says “Are you crazy?! This is a profile picture! Of course you can only see one of his eyes! Get out of here!”

So the chief calls in the second applicant and gives him the same photo. The applicant says “The suspect only has one ear!”

The chief blows up “Has nobody ever heard of a profile picture! Get out of here!”

He calls in the third applicant and says “Now, before you say anything, I want you to think very carefully… what can you tell me about this suspect?”

The third applicant studies the photo intensely for a few moments, then says “This man wears contact lenses.”

The chief is taken aback. He excuses himself and goes to look at the suspect’s file, where he is pleasantly surprised to discover that the suspect does wear contact lenses. He returns to the interview room and says “You’re right…but how could you tell from this photo that the suspect wears contact lenses?”

The applicant replies: “Well, he can’t wear regular glasses since he only has one eye and one ear!”
 
The following is an actual question given on a University of Arizona chemistry mid term, and an actual answer turned in by a student.

The answer by one student was so 'profound' that the professor shared it with colleagues, via the Internet, which is, of course, why we now have the pleasure of enjoying it as well:

Bonus Question:

Is Hell exothermic (gives off heat)

or endothermic (absorbs heat)?

Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs using Boyle's Law (gas cools when it expands and heats when it is compressed) or some variant.

One student, however,wrote the following:

First, we need to know how the mass of Hell is changing in time. So we need to know the rate at which souls are moving into Hell and the rate at which they are leaving, which is unlikely. I think that we can safely assume that once a soul gets to Hell, it will not leave. There fore,no souls are leaving. As for how many souls are entering Hell, let's look at the different religions that exist in the world today.

Most of these religions state that if you are not a member of their religion, you will go to Hell. Since there is more than one of these religions and since people do not belong to more than one religion, we can project that all souls go to Hell. With birth and death rates as they are, we can expect the number of souls in Hell to increase exponentially. Now, we look at the rate of change of the volume in Hell because Boyle's Law states that in order for the temperature and pressure in Hell to stay the same, the volume of Hell has to expand proportionately as souls are added.

This gives two possibilities:

1. If Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which souls enter Hell, then the temperature and pressure in Hell will increase until all Hell breaks loose.

2. If Hell is expanding at a rate faster than the increase of souls in Hell, then the temperature and pressure will drop until Hell freezes over.

So which is it?

If we accept the postulate given to me by Teresa during my Freshman year that, 'It will be a cold day in Hell before I sleep with you,' and take into account the fact that I slept with her last night, then number two must be true, and thus I am sure that Hell is exothermic and has already frozen over. The corollary of this theory is that since Hell has frozen over, it follows that it is not accepting any more souls and is extinct...therefore leaving Heaven, thereby proving the existence of a divine being which explains why, last night, Teresa kept shouting 'Oh my God.'
 
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