ST1100Y
Site Supporter
almost made me spit out my morning coffee... 
... that would have indeed aired some serious grievances ...
... that would have indeed aired some serious grievances ...
Funny!
- Thread starter docw1
- Start date
ST1100Y
Site Supporter
... when the doc suggested to watch your drinking ...
... oops ...
... oops ...
OP
OP
docw1
Bill Rankin
Jerome had to travel to Europe on business for a week. He lived alone with his cherished companion, Snowpuff, his cat. Since Snowpuff could not go with him, he enlisted his brother Floyd to care for her. He told Floyd that he would call him daily to make sure that Snowpuff was doing OK. Jerome left for Europe and the very next day called Floyd to inquire how Snowpuff was doing. Floyd said “Snowpuff is dead!”. Jerome was grief stricken and beside himself screaming at Floyd for being so thoughtlessly abrupt. He lectured Floyd to be more empathetic by breaking the news gradually. He said you could have started by saying that Snowpuff was up on the garage roof and we can’t get her down. Then when I call the next day, you could say that Snowpuff fell from the roof and broke a small bone in her neck. And finally when I called the third day you would tell me that she passed away painlessly in her sleep. Floyd was so sorry and apologized profusely. Jerome, sad, but accepted his brother’s apology, and continues the conversation asking Floyd how the family is doing?. There’s a short pause following which Floyd says, “well Grandma’s up on the garage roof and we can’t get her down.”
OP
OP
docw1
Bill Rankin
The doctor tells the blonde that she needs to lose some weight. “You need to lose five pounds. I want you to eat normally for two days and skip the third. Come back in two weeks and we'll check your progress. “
Two weeks later she is back in the doctor's office and the blonde has lost twenty pounds! Her doctor asked her if she followed his instructions. She assured him that she had. “I ate as usual for two days and skipped the third. And boy, I thought I would die of exhaustion by the end of the third day!”
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Two young ladies enter a busy optometrist shop and walk around for twenty minutes trying on almost every pair of glasses. When the optometrist finally approaches them, he asks, “Can I be of any assistance to you?” They reply, “No it's ok sir, we're just 'Speculating'.”
Two weeks later she is back in the doctor's office and the blonde has lost twenty pounds! Her doctor asked her if she followed his instructions. She assured him that she had. “I ate as usual for two days and skipped the third. And boy, I thought I would die of exhaustion by the end of the third day!”
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Two young ladies enter a busy optometrist shop and walk around for twenty minutes trying on almost every pair of glasses. When the optometrist finally approaches them, he asks, “Can I be of any assistance to you?” They reply, “No it's ok sir, we're just 'Speculating'.”
Why don't blind people go skydiving?
Because it scares the crap out of the dog.
Scares the dog
ST1100Y
Site Supporter
I've often said that while the current trend over here seems to be 'renaming' stuff they should change that to 'uncommon' sense to reflect reality.
OP
OP
docw1
Bill Rankin
I like it when I can be myself,
