Funny!

Bob went to his doctor one day complaining that his elbow was hurting. The doctor said to provide a urine sample.

“Why should I provide a urine sample?” asked Bob. “It’s my elbow”.

“My new clinical laboratory instrument diagnoses just about any ailment from a urinalysis!” said the doctor.

So Bob peed into a sample cup and gave it to the doctor. The doctor returned ten minutes later and said “You have tennis elbow.”

“You say that machine can diagnose about anything from a urine sample. Why don’t you prove it?” said Bob. So the doctor handed him a sample cup to take home.

Once home, Bob peed in the cup. Then had his wife, son, and daughter peed in the cup. Then had his dog pee in the cup. Then he put a few drops of oil from his car in the cup. For good measure, he beat off into the cup. He took the cup back to the doctor, giggling to himself.

A half hour later, the doctor walked out with the results. “OK smartass”, said the doctor. “Here are the results. Your wife has herpes, your son has pubic lice, your daughter is pregnant, your dog has mange, your car is going to blow a head gasket, and if you don’t stop beating off, your tennis elbow won’t go away.”
 
STripper said:
When I was a kid, we had one of the first color TVs on the block!

Color TV - Bonanza.jpg
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Funny when I was a kid my mom's cousin got the first color TV and invited us to come over to see it. We went over on a Sunday night to watch Bonanza and were amazed when the map caught on fire in the beginning. "Ohh dad, can we get one of those?" " No! " and we didn't for probably another 5 years.
 
the Ferret said:
Funny when I was a kid my mom's cousin got the first color TV and invited us to come over to see it. We went over on a Sunday night to watch Bonanza and were amazed when the map caught on fire in the beginning. "Ohh dad, can we get one of those?" " No! " and we didn't for probably another 5 years.
Click to expand...
When I was a kid, my dad hated the tv. He told us there was no sound so he wouldn't have to listen to it. So we sat there in front of it, happily stupid until we visited a friend's house that had sound. Dad wasn't happy but eventually he gave in and hooked up ear muffs so we could hear it and he was able to avoid it.
 
An elderly couple were touring an old western town. Hubby took a tour of the town while the wife unpacked. Always wanting real cowboy boots, he bought and put on a pair. He came home asking his wife if she noticed anything different. “No” she said.


He proceeded to the bedroom where he undressed, reappeared in the den and repeated his question. She again said no to which he said “don’t you notice anything different”? She replied no- it is hanging down like always. He said “Do you know why it is hanging down? It is admiring my new boots.”


She replied: “Harry, you should have bought a hat!”
 
Marie was in the kitchen fiddling around when she hollers out.... "Boudreaux, you need to go out and fix da outhouse!"

Boudreaux replies, "Dere ain't nuthin wrong wid da outhouse."

Marie yells back, "Yes dere is; now git out dere and fix it.

So.......Boudreaux mosies out to the outhouse, looks around and yells back, "Marie dere ain't nuthin wrong wid dis outhouse cher! "

Marie replies, "Stick yur head in da hole!"

Boudreaux yells back, "I ain't stickin my head in dat hole!"

Marie says, "Ya have to stick yur head in da hole to see what to fix."

So with that, Boudreaux sticks his head in the hole, looks around and yells back,"Marie - Dere ain't nuthin wrong with dis outhouse!"

Marie hollers back, "Now take your head out of da hole!"

Boudreaux proceeds to pull his head out of the hole, and then starts yelling, "Marie - Help! My beard is stuck in da cracks in da toilet seat!"

To which Marie replies, "Hurts, don't it?"
 
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