Funny!
- Thread starter docw1
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docw1
Bill Rankin
This guy was driving down the freeway, a cute little bunny rabbit ran out in the road, he tried to miss it but he ended up running right over the thing. He pulled over and walked back to check on it. The bunny was dead, smashed, ran over. He was all bent out of shape about it. Suddenly a woman in a nice sports car rolls by. She sees him looking at the poor rabbit so she pulls over. She gets out of her car, walks up to the guy and says “what’s going on? Is everything okay?” The guy says “I just ran over this poor rabbit, he’s gone, there’s nothing I can do!”
She says “hold on a moment I have exactly what you need!” The guy looks at her like she’s crazy, thinking *****? The rabbits dead, what can possibly be done? She goes to her car, grabs a can out of the console, walks back over to him and the rabbit and she sprays the rabbit with whatever is in the can. She looks at him and says “there you go! Problem solved!” He’s still like *****? This chicks gone mad. Suddenly the rabbit stands up, it walks like ten feet, turns around and waves. It walks another ten feet, turns around and waves. It does that all the way until he can’t see the rabbit anymore.
He’s amazed, he asks her “ ma’am what do you have in that magical can?” She says “oh it’s just hairspray, it revives dead hair and adds permanent wave!”
She says “hold on a moment I have exactly what you need!” The guy looks at her like she’s crazy, thinking *****? The rabbits dead, what can possibly be done? She goes to her car, grabs a can out of the console, walks back over to him and the rabbit and she sprays the rabbit with whatever is in the can. She looks at him and says “there you go! Problem solved!” He’s still like *****? This chicks gone mad. Suddenly the rabbit stands up, it walks like ten feet, turns around and waves. It walks another ten feet, turns around and waves. It does that all the way until he can’t see the rabbit anymore.
He’s amazed, he asks her “ ma’am what do you have in that magical can?” She says “oh it’s just hairspray, it revives dead hair and adds permanent wave!”
ReSTored
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docw1
Bill Rankin
There was a Baptist man who moved into a totally devout Catholic Neighborhood. Every Friday, he would go outside and grill a nice thick juicy steak. For weeks, the aroma drove the people nuts where they contacted their Parish Priest.
The Priest stated “I will go over and talk with him.”
On that Friday, once again the aroma of steak filled the air, and the Catholic Father marched in and met the “problem neighbor”.
After a prolonged visitation, the Baptist man agreed to convert to Catholicism.
During the Conversion, the Catholic Priest then sprinkled holy water and said
You were born a Baptist, raised a Baptist, now you’re Catholic.
Much relief went throughout the neighborhood, until, that upcoming Friday, he was grilling a steak. Everyone phoned the Priest, which he immediately arrived and upon doing so, they find him sprinkling holy water uttering:
You were born a Steer, Raised a Steer, Now you’re a Fish!
The Priest stated “I will go over and talk with him.”
On that Friday, once again the aroma of steak filled the air, and the Catholic Father marched in and met the “problem neighbor”.
After a prolonged visitation, the Baptist man agreed to convert to Catholicism.
During the Conversion, the Catholic Priest then sprinkled holy water and said
You were born a Baptist, raised a Baptist, now you’re Catholic.
Much relief went throughout the neighborhood, until, that upcoming Friday, he was grilling a steak. Everyone phoned the Priest, which he immediately arrived and upon doing so, they find him sprinkling holy water uttering:
You were born a Steer, Raised a Steer, Now you’re a Fish!
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docw1
Bill Rankin
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docw1
Bill Rankin
Andrew Shadow
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You reminded me of the below- This is a true story.
At one time I was working at a large company of about 35,000 employees. A new director of customer relations had been hired. There was a weekly company newsletter that was emailed to every employee system wide. The newsletter that came out the first week that this new director was on the job included a segment about him to introduce him to the employees. After his name he was introduced as the new Director of Customer Felations. It didn't take very long at all and a corrected version was emailed to everyone but it was to late, the damage was done, he was forever known that way.
I always wondered if whoever signed off on that release was fired.
ReSTored
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Well, that must have sucked for him.