Funny!
- Thread starter docw1
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docw1
Bill Rankin
A nurse was instructed to give a male patient a sponge bath. The patient was wearing an oxygen mask, as he had suffered an extremely bad asthma attack.
The young nurse was told that she only had to wash him from the waist up, but the man on his oxygen mask said, “ Nurse, are my testicles black?” She pretended not to hear him, but he repeated himself: “ Nurse, are my testicles black?” She knew she had to do something, so, very gingerly, she looked under his sheet, then cupped his testicles in her hand. She looked at the patient and said, “ They seem okay to me sir.” The patient stared at her for a minute, then with exasperation, he lowered his mask and said very slowly: “Are…my….test results..back?”
The young nurse was told that she only had to wash him from the waist up, but the man on his oxygen mask said, “ Nurse, are my testicles black?” She pretended not to hear him, but he repeated himself: “ Nurse, are my testicles black?” She knew she had to do something, so, very gingerly, she looked under his sheet, then cupped his testicles in her hand. She looked at the patient and said, “ They seem okay to me sir.” The patient stared at her for a minute, then with exasperation, he lowered his mask and said very slowly: “Are…my….test results..back?”
Oh dear me.....this little elf appears to be getting "up" to something....
OP
OP
docw1
Bill Rankin
Two brothers are real trouble makers. They are always breaking things, stealing, lying, creating all kinds of trouble. Their parents tried everything to get the boys to change but nothing they tried worked. Finally, they decided to ask their pastor for help.
He says he will talk to the boys - but one at a time. The parents drop off the older boy, He sat down in a chair across from the pastor.
The pastor believes that, if he can the boy to think of God and eternal judgement, the boys will change. So the Pastor starts by asking "Where is God?"
The boy just sits there and doesn't answer.
The pastor begins to look stern and loudly says, "Where is God?"
The little boy shifts in his seat, but still doesn't answer.
The pastor is starting to get angry at the boy's refusal respond and shouts loudly "Where is God?"
The boy jumps up out of his chair and runs out of the office. He leaves the church and runs all the way home, up the stairs and into his brother's room. He shuts the door, and with sweat running down his face says, "We're in BIG TROUBLE! God is missing - and they are blaming us!"
He says he will talk to the boys - but one at a time. The parents drop off the older boy, He sat down in a chair across from the pastor.
The pastor believes that, if he can the boy to think of God and eternal judgement, the boys will change. So the Pastor starts by asking "Where is God?"
The boy just sits there and doesn't answer.
The pastor begins to look stern and loudly says, "Where is God?"
The little boy shifts in his seat, but still doesn't answer.
The pastor is starting to get angry at the boy's refusal respond and shouts loudly "Where is God?"
The boy jumps up out of his chair and runs out of the office. He leaves the church and runs all the way home, up the stairs and into his brother's room. He shuts the door, and with sweat running down his face says, "We're in BIG TROUBLE! God is missing - and they are blaming us!"
OP
OP
docw1
Bill Rankin
I always offer to help; I'm 6'3" (or I used to be.)
I reach almost 8 ft with my long arms,and have gotten many things off the top shelf.