Funny!
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technotony007
Marvellous !
docw1
Bill Rankin
docw1
Bill Rankin
A helicopter was flying around above Seattle yesterday when an electrical malfunction disabled all of the aircraft's electronic navigation and communication equipment. Due to the clouds and haze the pilot could not determine his position or course to steer to the airport. The pilot saw a tall building, flew toward it, circled, drew a handwritten sign and held it in the helicopter's window. T he sign said "WHERE AM I?"
in large letters.
People in the tall building quickly responded to the aircraft, drew a large sign and held it in a building window. Their sign said, "YOU ARE IN A HELICOPTER.'
The pilot smiled, waved, looked at his map and determined the course to steer to SEATAC (Seattle/Tacoma) airport and landed safely.
After they were on the ground, the co-pilot asked the pilot how the "YOU ARE IN A HELICOPTER" sign helped determine their position.
The pilot responded, "I knew that had to be the MICROSOFT building because they gave me a technically correct but completely useless reply.
in large letters.
People in the tall building quickly responded to the aircraft, drew a large sign and held it in a building window. Their sign said, "YOU ARE IN A HELICOPTER.'
The pilot smiled, waved, looked at his map and determined the course to steer to SEATAC (Seattle/Tacoma) airport and landed safely.
After they were on the ground, the co-pilot asked the pilot how the "YOU ARE IN A HELICOPTER" sign helped determine their position.
The pilot responded, "I knew that had to be the MICROSOFT building because they gave me a technically correct but completely useless reply.
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docw1
Bill Rankin
1. I told my wife she should embrace her mistakes. She gave me a hug.
2. Parallel lines have so much in common. It’s a shame they’ll never meet.
3. I'm reading a book on anti-gravity. It's impossible to put down!
4. Why don't skeletons fight each other? They don't have the guts.
5. I used to play piano by ear, but now I use my hands.
6. I'm reading a book about anti-gravity. It's really uplifting!
7. Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was outstanding in his field!
8. I told my computer I needed a break and now it won't stop giving me Kit Kats.
9. Why was the math book sad? Because it had too many problems.
10. I used to be a baker, but I couldn't make enough dough.
2. Parallel lines have so much in common. It’s a shame they’ll never meet.
3. I'm reading a book on anti-gravity. It's impossible to put down!
4. Why don't skeletons fight each other? They don't have the guts.
5. I used to play piano by ear, but now I use my hands.
6. I'm reading a book about anti-gravity. It's really uplifting!
7. Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was outstanding in his field!
8. I told my computer I needed a break and now it won't stop giving me Kit Kats.
9. Why was the math book sad? Because it had too many problems.
10. I used to be a baker, but I couldn't make enough dough.
technotony007
Marvellous !
docw1
Bill Rankin
A plane is on its way to toronto , when a blonde in economy class gets up and moves to the first class section and sits down.
the flight attendant watches her do this and asks to see her ticket.
she then tells the blonde that she paid for economy class and that she will have to sit in the back.
the blonde replies, "i'm blonde, i'm beautiful, i'm going to toronto and i'm staying right here."
the flight attendant goes into the cockpit and tells the pilot and the co-pilot that there is a blonde bimbo sitting in first class, that belongs in economy and won't move back to her seat.
the co-pilot goes back to the blonde and tries to explain that because she only paid for economy she will have to leave and return to her seat.
the blonde replies, "i'm blonde, i'm beautiful, i'm going to toronto and i'm staying right here."
the co-pilot tells the pilot that he probably should have the police waiting when they land to arrest this blonde woman who won't listen to reason.
the pilot says, "you say she is a blonde? i'll
handle this, i'm married to a blonde. i speak blonde."
he goes back to the blonde and whispers in her ear, and she says, "oh, i'm sorry." and gets up and goes back to her seat in economy.
the flight attendant and co-pilot are amazed and asked him what he said to make her move without any fuss.
"i told her, 'first class isn't going to toronto."
the flight attendant watches her do this and asks to see her ticket.
she then tells the blonde that she paid for economy class and that she will have to sit in the back.
the blonde replies, "i'm blonde, i'm beautiful, i'm going to toronto and i'm staying right here."
the flight attendant goes into the cockpit and tells the pilot and the co-pilot that there is a blonde bimbo sitting in first class, that belongs in economy and won't move back to her seat.
the co-pilot goes back to the blonde and tries to explain that because she only paid for economy she will have to leave and return to her seat.
the blonde replies, "i'm blonde, i'm beautiful, i'm going to toronto and i'm staying right here."
the co-pilot tells the pilot that he probably should have the police waiting when they land to arrest this blonde woman who won't listen to reason.
the pilot says, "you say she is a blonde? i'll
handle this, i'm married to a blonde. i speak blonde."
he goes back to the blonde and whispers in her ear, and she says, "oh, i'm sorry." and gets up and goes back to her seat in economy.
the flight attendant and co-pilot are amazed and asked him what he said to make her move without any fuss.
"i told her, 'first class isn't going to toronto."
docw1
Bill Rankin
A Little 10-year-old girl was walking home, alone, from school one day, when a big man on a black motorcycle pulls up beside her.
After following along for a while, turns to her and asks,
"Hey there little girl, do you want to go for a ride?"
"NO!" says the little girl as she keeps on walking.
The motorcyclist again pulls up beside her and asks,
"Hey little girl, I will give you $10 if you hop on the back."
"NO!" says the little girl again as she hurries down the street.
The motorcyclist pulls up beside the little girl again and says,
"Okay kid, my last offer! I'll give you 20 Bucks "and" a Big Bag of Candy if you will just hop on the back of my bike and we will go for a ride."
Finally, the little girl stops and turns towards him and Screams Out...
"Look Dad" "You're the one who bought the Harley instead of the Honda... YOU RIDE IT!!".......
After following along for a while, turns to her and asks,
"Hey there little girl, do you want to go for a ride?"
"NO!" says the little girl as she keeps on walking.
The motorcyclist again pulls up beside her and asks,
"Hey little girl, I will give you $10 if you hop on the back."
"NO!" says the little girl again as she hurries down the street.
The motorcyclist pulls up beside the little girl again and says,
"Okay kid, my last offer! I'll give you 20 Bucks "and" a Big Bag of Candy if you will just hop on the back of my bike and we will go for a ride."
Finally, the little girl stops and turns towards him and Screams Out...
"Look Dad" "You're the one who bought the Harley instead of the Honda... YOU RIDE IT!!".......
bdalameda
PaleoCyclist
You will never have anyone park next to you in the parking lot.
I don't have to drive it, ride in it, or be seen anywhere near it.
