Funny!
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docw1
Bill Rankin
Not sure if this had been posted before, but here goes:
A first-grade teacher, Ms. Brooks, was having trouble with one of her more precocious students. The teacher asked, “Luther, what exactly is your problem?”
Luther answered, “I'm too smart for the 1st grade. My sister is in the 3rd grade and I'm smarter than she! I think I should be in the 3rd grade, too!”
Ms. Brooks finally had enough; she took Luther to the principal's office. While he waited in the outer office, the teacher explained to the situation to the principal. The principal told Ms. Brooks he would give the boy a test. If he failed to answer any of his questions he was to go back to the 1st grade and behave. She agreed.
Luther was brought in and the conditions were explained to him and he happily agreed to take the test.
Principal: “What is 3 x 3?”
Luther: “9.”
Principal: “What is 6 x 6?”
Luther: “36.”
And so it went with every question the principal thought a bright 3rd grader should know.
The principal looks at Ms. Brooks and tells her, “Y’know, I reckon Luther can go to the 3rd grade.”
But Ms. Brooks is still sceptical of the little bugger and says to the principal, “Not so fast, let me ask him a few questions.”
The principal and Luther both agree.
Ms. Brooks asks, “What does a cow have four of that I have only two of?”
Luther, after a moment: “Legs.”
Ms. Brooks: “What is in your pants that you have but I do not have?”
The principal wondered why would she ask such a question!
Luther replied: “Pockets.” to the Principal’s great relief…..
Ms. Brooks: “What does a dog do that a man steps into?”
Luther: “Pants.”
By now, the principal is sitting forward with his mouth hanging open.
Ms. Brooks: “What goes in hard and pink then comes out soft and sticky?”
Now the principal's eyes open really wide and before he could intervene, Luther replied, “Bubble gum.”
Ms. Brooks: “What does a man do standing up, a woman does sitting down and adog does on three legs?”
Luther: “Shake hands.”
The principal is now trembling with apprehension as Ms. Brooks asks the last question.
Ms. Brooks: “What word starts with an 'F' and ends in 'K' and indicates a great deal of heat and excitement?”
Luther: "Firetruck.”
The principal breaths a huge sigh of relief and tells the teacher, “Put the little bastard in 5th Grade; I got the last seven questions wrong myself.”
A first-grade teacher, Ms. Brooks, was having trouble with one of her more precocious students. The teacher asked, “Luther, what exactly is your problem?”
Luther answered, “I'm too smart for the 1st grade. My sister is in the 3rd grade and I'm smarter than she! I think I should be in the 3rd grade, too!”
Ms. Brooks finally had enough; she took Luther to the principal's office. While he waited in the outer office, the teacher explained to the situation to the principal. The principal told Ms. Brooks he would give the boy a test. If he failed to answer any of his questions he was to go back to the 1st grade and behave. She agreed.
Luther was brought in and the conditions were explained to him and he happily agreed to take the test.
Principal: “What is 3 x 3?”
Luther: “9.”
Principal: “What is 6 x 6?”
Luther: “36.”
And so it went with every question the principal thought a bright 3rd grader should know.
The principal looks at Ms. Brooks and tells her, “Y’know, I reckon Luther can go to the 3rd grade.”
But Ms. Brooks is still sceptical of the little bugger and says to the principal, “Not so fast, let me ask him a few questions.”
The principal and Luther both agree.
Ms. Brooks asks, “What does a cow have four of that I have only two of?”
Luther, after a moment: “Legs.”
Ms. Brooks: “What is in your pants that you have but I do not have?”
The principal wondered why would she ask such a question!
Luther replied: “Pockets.” to the Principal’s great relief…..
Ms. Brooks: “What does a dog do that a man steps into?”
Luther: “Pants.”
By now, the principal is sitting forward with his mouth hanging open.
Ms. Brooks: “What goes in hard and pink then comes out soft and sticky?”
Now the principal's eyes open really wide and before he could intervene, Luther replied, “Bubble gum.”
Ms. Brooks: “What does a man do standing up, a woman does sitting down and adog does on three legs?”
Luther: “Shake hands.”
The principal is now trembling with apprehension as Ms. Brooks asks the last question.
Ms. Brooks: “What word starts with an 'F' and ends in 'K' and indicates a great deal of heat and excitement?”
Luther: "Firetruck.”
The principal breaths a huge sigh of relief and tells the teacher, “Put the little bastard in 5th Grade; I got the last seven questions wrong myself.”
docw1
Bill Rankin
docw1
Bill Rankin
Animals may learn from humans
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docw1
Bill Rankin
A woman in a hot air balloon realized she was lost.
She reduced altitude and spotted a man below.
She descended a bit more and shouted, "Excuse me, can you help me?
I promised a friend I would meet him an hour ago but I don't know where I am."
The man below replied "You're in a hot air balloon hovering approximately 30 feet above the ground.
You're between 40 and 41 degrees north latitude and between 59 and 60 degrees west longitude."
"You must be an engineer," said the balloonist. "I am", replied the man.
"How did you know?"
"Well, answered the balloonist, "everything you told me is technically correct, but I've no idea what to make of your information, and the fact is I'm still lost. Frankly, you've not been much help at all. If anything, you've delayed my trip even more."
The man below responded, "You must be in management."
"I am," replied the balloonist, "but how did you know?"
"Well," said the man, "You don't know where you are or where you're going.
You have risen to where you are due to a large quantity of hot air.
You made a promise which you've no idea how to keep, and you expect people beneath you to solve your problems?!!
She reduced altitude and spotted a man below.
She descended a bit more and shouted, "Excuse me, can you help me?
I promised a friend I would meet him an hour ago but I don't know where I am."
The man below replied "You're in a hot air balloon hovering approximately 30 feet above the ground.
You're between 40 and 41 degrees north latitude and between 59 and 60 degrees west longitude."
"You must be an engineer," said the balloonist. "I am", replied the man.
"How did you know?"
"Well, answered the balloonist, "everything you told me is technically correct, but I've no idea what to make of your information, and the fact is I'm still lost. Frankly, you've not been much help at all. If anything, you've delayed my trip even more."
The man below responded, "You must be in management."
"I am," replied the balloonist, "but how did you know?"
"Well," said the man, "You don't know where you are or where you're going.
You have risen to where you are due to a large quantity of hot air.
You made a promise which you've no idea how to keep, and you expect people beneath you to solve your problems?!!
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Andrew Shadow
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You'd be surprised how that is not so far from reality.
I was in a museum in Seoul Korea and it had fancy new modern washrooms. Several of the women in our group went to the washroom and one-by-one they came out asking if any of the other women had figured out how to flush the toilet. Apparently it was all digital and electronic with a plethora of buttons on it and they all had Korean writing, no English. They were all afraid to push any of the buttons in fear that they might shower themselves with their own bio-waste if they pushed the wrong one. They never figured it out and we just left.
The art of complicating things for no reason.
