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Funny!
- Thread starter docw1
- Start date
• So now cocaine is legal in Oregon, but straws aren’t. That must be frustrating.
• Still trying to get my head around the fact that ‘Take Out’ can mean food, dating, or murder.
• Threw out my back sleeping, and tweaked my neck sneezing so I’m probably just one strong fart away from complete paralysis.
•Dear paranoid people who check behind their shower curtains for murderers. If you do find one, what’s your plan?
•The older I get, the more I understand why roosters just scream to start their day.
•When I lost the fingers on my right hand in a freak accident, I asked the doctor if I would still be able to write with it. He said, “Probably, but I wouldn’t count on it.
•Anyone who says their wedding was the best day of their life has clearly never had two candy bars fall down at once from a vending machine.
•We live in a time where intelligent people are silenced so that stupid people won’t be offended.
•The biggest joke on mankind is that computers have begun asking humans to prove they aren’t a robot.
•When a kid says “Daddy, I want mommy” that’s the kid version of “I’d like to speak to your supervisor”.
•Just once, I want a username and password prompt to say CLOSE ENOUGH!
• The pessimist complains about the wind. The optimist expects it to change. The realist adjusts his sails.
•There’s a fine line between a numerator and a denominator. Only a fraction of people will find this funny.
•I have many hidden talents. I just wish I could remember where I hid them.
•My idea of a Super Bowl is a toilet that cleans itself.
•Apparently exercise helps you with decision-making. It’s true. I went for a run this morning and decided I’m never going again.
• Still trying to get my head around the fact that ‘Take Out’ can mean food, dating, or murder.
• Threw out my back sleeping, and tweaked my neck sneezing so I’m probably just one strong fart away from complete paralysis.
•Dear paranoid people who check behind their shower curtains for murderers. If you do find one, what’s your plan?
•The older I get, the more I understand why roosters just scream to start their day.
•When I lost the fingers on my right hand in a freak accident, I asked the doctor if I would still be able to write with it. He said, “Probably, but I wouldn’t count on it.
•Anyone who says their wedding was the best day of their life has clearly never had two candy bars fall down at once from a vending machine.
•We live in a time where intelligent people are silenced so that stupid people won’t be offended.
•The biggest joke on mankind is that computers have begun asking humans to prove they aren’t a robot.
•When a kid says “Daddy, I want mommy” that’s the kid version of “I’d like to speak to your supervisor”.
•Just once, I want a username and password prompt to say CLOSE ENOUGH!
• The pessimist complains about the wind. The optimist expects it to change. The realist adjusts his sails.
•There’s a fine line between a numerator and a denominator. Only a fraction of people will find this funny.
•I have many hidden talents. I just wish I could remember where I hid them.
•My idea of a Super Bowl is a toilet that cleans itself.
•Apparently exercise helps you with decision-making. It’s true. I went for a run this morning and decided I’m never going again.
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docw1
Bill Rankin
Bmacleod
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